Oh no, here it comes: “Because you watched ‘Blubberella’ “

Hey, a movie starring Michael Pare and Clint Howard can't be all bad, right?

Hey, a movie starring Michael Pare and Clint Howard can’t be all bad, right?

There are plenty of times I can’t make heads or tails of the suggestions Netflix offers and I’ve been trying to invest a few minutes here and there to rank stuff just to weed out some of the more absurd movies and TV shows that pop up for my consideration. Tonight’s head scratcher that appeared while I was scrolling through our streaming account was “Blubberella,” listed as one of the Witty Revenge Movies I might like based on the fact that I recently watched “Miller’s Crossing” and “Hopscotch.”

I have no idea how the heck you get from the Coen Brothers and Walter Matthau to “Blubberella” but Netflix, in all its wisdom, made the connection.

I bet Albert Finney never thought he'd be mentioned in the same post as "Blubberella." Loved ya in "Miller's Crossing" pal.

I bet Albert Finney never thought he’d be mentioned in the same post as “Blubberella.” Loved ya in “Miller’s Crossing” pal.

Hate to break it to you Netflix but I don’t want to watch “Blubberella,” the “gleefully low-rent action-comedy” in which “hefty half-vampire Blubberella sets her always-ravenous sights on a Nazi leader who’s concocting a diabolical plan: to create an army of undead soldiers to help his Führer conquer the globe.”

My wife can vouch for the fact that I love some truly absurd movies and TV shows — which probably explains a lot of the horrible suggestions Netflix churns out — but even my juvenile sense of humor can’t embrace “Blubberella.”

Maybe I just need a few dozen drinks to see the appeal of “Blubberella.” Would beer goggles make “Blubberella” attractive to me? Who knows? I have a pretty high tolerance for booze so it’s a little frightening to try and guess how much I would have to drink to get a twinkle in my eye for “Blubberella.”

Do you get the sense that I’m trying to write “Blubberella” as many times as possible in this post? I dare you to say “Blubberella” five times as fast as you can … I’m willing to bet it’s a lot more entertaining than actually watching “Blubberella” (sweet, I just wrote “Blubberella” two more times!).

Of course, the worst thing I did tonight was accidentally play the movie for a split second when I was just trying to click on “More Info” to get some fodder for this post. Now the next time I log in to Netflix I’ll be hit with a load of suggestions “Because you watched ‘Blubberella.’ ” Can you hear me slapping my forehead?

I guess it serves me right for complaining so much about Netflix’s suggestions.

Then again, maybe I’ll get lucky and Netflix will suggest a lot of really good Coen Brothers and Walter Matthau movies because somehow, some way, they’re all related in the wonderful world of Netflix streaming.

Fat chance.


Enough of the vanishing act

June 29? I haven’t posted here since June flippin’ 29? I can’t believe that I vanished from the blogosphere for more than 7 months. Well, a new job and new hours will do that to a guy.

The funny thing is that I actually had my sights set on blogging a lot more here at Junkball when I vanished into thin air. I stepped away from Swingin’ A’s to gain some flexibility for more frequent, spontaneous blogging without worrying about stepping on the toes of other staff writers.

ImageBut right when I did all that I landed a new gig and the free time to ramble about the A’s faded away. The only reason I’m even posting today is because I’m home alone sick with time to kill in between some long naps.  If my kids were home there’s no way I could veg out on the couch and write something.

Too bad I pulled a 7 month vanishing act because I missed an amazing opportunity to blog about the A’s while they went on a magical run to the AL West title. But being at the game when the A’s clinched their first playoff berth since 2006 was a helluva lot more fun than blogging about it so I can’t complain too much about my schedule pulling me away from this site.

Hopefully this post marks a return to at least some semi-regular blogging but only time will tell. I have a bad knack for getting busy and letting this blog fall by the wayside. I know my priorities are in the right place by putting family, friends, and work first but goofing off here makes everything else a lot more fun.

On to some random thoughts in the early days of spring training …

* At the moment there’s depth everywhere on this roster, a welcome sight for a small-buget franchise that usually has a pretty thin roster backing up the starting nine. The starting rotation, bullpen, infield, outfield … there’s a crowd of talented players fighting for a roster spot and playing time. It’s a nice problem to have and I’m glad it’s Bob Melvin‘s challenge to make all the pieces fit together instead of me. I wouldn’t want to be the guy telling a few really good players that they’re heading to Sacramento instead of Oakland at the end of camp and then deal with juggling the lineup all season.

* If there’s one guy who can make it all work it’s Melvin. That shiny new AL Manager of the Year Award sitting on his mantle (OK, I assume it’s sitting on his mantle rather than being used as a paperweight or hat rack) is proof that the man can juggle lineups and massage personalities with the best of’em. Of course, 2012 is in the rear view mirror and there’s no guarantee that 2013 will be smooth sailing. Last season you didn’t hear any complaints from players while Melvin regularly shuffled everyone in and out of the lineup but that’s when the club was winning games in bunches. A slow start to 2013 that drags on too long could lead to an unhappy clubhouse full of competitive ballplayers who don’t feel like they’re getting enough at bats to get into a groove and help the A’s win.  Hopefully that’s the kind of turmoil was left behind in the dark ages of A’s baseball known as the Bob Geren Era.

* I totally dig Oakland adding John Jaso to the roster.  Same goes for adding Jed Lowrie and Hiroyuki Nakajima to the mix at shortstop.  If the A’s could win the division with almost no offensive contributions out of those positions in 2012, having some solid hitters in those spots can only help’em make a run at another title.  I’ll miss all the prospects general manager Billy Beane shipped out of town to get Jaso and Lowrie but I’ll take a win-now approach after years of irrelevance in the American League.

* Right now the glut of good players vying for a spot on the roster looks like it’ll be a late-spring headache for the A’s coaching staff and front office as they try to figure out what to do with guys out of options. But it’s a long way to opening day and what may seem like too many players for too few spots could actually shake out to be barely enough bodies to go around if, as usual, the injury bug rears its ugly head and some guys play themselves out of the picture. By the end of 2013 what seems like a luxury of depth for the A’s will probably turn out to be a necessity just to make it to the finish line.

* I already really miss Brandon McCarthy.  On a positive note, I’m excited that Scott Sizemore is healthy and in the mix for a starting job.  It may take him a couple of months to really get going after missing last season with a knee injury but I’m optimistic that he can make good on the promise he showed with the A’s in 2010.

* According to several reports out of Arizona, stalled outfield prospect Michael Taylor is working out at first base. That’s a damn fine idea if I do say so myself. Personally, I think it’s a long overdue move to salvage some value and see if the A’s can find an opportunity to get Taylor some playing time in the big leagues. Then again, as Chris Carter can attest to, being a young right-handed part of a first base platoon in Oakland isn’t exactly a major source of at bats.

* Speaking of Chris Carter, the big guy is finally free. Take those 500 at bats as a DH in Houston and run with’em kid. Have fun filling the Crawford Boxes with souvenirs for the next few years … just make sure you do most of your damage against everyone but the A’s.

* The one good thing about not blogging about the A’s in so long is that I didn’t miss any developments on the new ballpark front.  The Golden State Warriors will be probably be playing in San Francisco and the Raiders will be playing in Los Angeles before any progress is made on the A’s getting a new home.  The whole thing is just as frustrating as ever but at least the team on the field is fun to watch again which is a welcome distraction from MLB commissioner Bud Selig’s attempt to dodge the issue until he retires.

Signing off for now, hopefully I’ll be back in less than 7 months.