Figure it out Chron

We're doomed … then again, maybe not.

At some point the San Francisco Chronicle's home page (http://www.sfgate.com/) will figure that one out, but right at this moment it looks like they're hedging their bets.

Their top headline says a tsunami may be bearing down on the West Coast, but another headline just below it says there's nothing to worry about.

Personally, I'm going to play it safe and stay inland.

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Damn you swine flu

Check back on TWGB in a couple of weeks to see if I'm still alive and kicking because I'm pretty sure I've been expose to the swine flu.

I was actually feeling terrible before I was exposed to the latest, greatest doomsday disease but today I'm worse than ever.

I'm sore, totally fatigued, my eyes hurt, my throat is sore, I sound terrible and my nose can't decide if it wants to be totally stuffed up or runny.

Who knows, maybe it's ebola.  I knew reading "The Hot Zone" would make me paranoid.

So how did I get the swine flu you ask?

At the one place you're supposed to get healthy, of course: The hospital.

My wife and I had to run the rugrat to the emergency room last night with some breathing/eating problems and after the triage nurse directed us to a side waiting room rather than the normal one.

Seemed like an odd move as soon as she asked us to go to the other waiting room but it got worse as soon as we turned to corner and made our entrance.

The only people in there were a sad looking couple with a sickly looking child and they were all wearing face masks.

After about 10 minutes a nurse came to get them which was a relief …. until she brought in another couple with a sickly kid about 5 minutes later.  What were they wearin?  Face masks.

Where's my face mask?  How about a little protection for my wife and son?

Why did we get stuck being the canaries in the coal mine?

After the second set of swine flu patients were parked next to us I went out to see the triage nurse to ask why we were shacked up in the Doomsday Suite.

According to Nurse Ratched she stuck us in there to protect my son from the patients in the main waiting room.

I think I'd rather take my chances in the main waiting room.  In the 30 minutes we were out there we were sitting next to a woman with a back problem and a teenager with a sprained ankle.

Last time I looked those conditions aren't contagious or fatal.

Fortunately my wife seems to be OK and my son is no worse than we was when we brought him to the ER.

But me?  I'm a mess and going downhill fast.

My friends on Facebook are already laying claim to my office at work and all the odd little goodies I have in there.  It looks like all my other stuff will be up for grabs soon too.

If there isn't a new post here in a week or two feel free to cruise by the house for my estate sale.

Damn swine flu.