Top 10 things that would be cool about the A’s calling AT&T home

So far MLB won't let the A's call San Jose home because that's the San Francisco Giants' territory ... but apparently it's OK for the A's to play hoem games in the Giants' ballpark in San Francisco. MLB's logic makes my head hurt.

So far MLB won’t let the A’s call San Jose home because that’s the San Francisco Giants’ territory … but apparently it’s OK for the A’s to play home games in the Giants’ ballpark in San Francisco. MLB’s logic makes my head hurt.

If you’re a die-hard A’s fan you’re more than familiar with the hot rumor flying around that MLB is threatening to move the A’s into AT&T Park if Coliseum officials don’t bow down and hand the A’s a sweetheart lease for two years.

The idea of the A’s potentially having to pay the Giants rent to be a second-class citizen in AT&T Park and play ball under San Francisco’s World Series flags is nauseating.  Of course, when you get right down to it the chances of that actually happening are about as likely Eric Sogard taking a page out of Jose Canseco’s book and having a 40/40 season.  For the most part, this is all a bunch of hot air to expedite the A’s lease negotiations in Oakland.

But since there is a microscopically slim chance of Bud Selig & Company’s twisted little power play with the Oakland-Alameda County Coliseum Authority resulting in the A’s sharing AT&T Park with the Giants I thought I’d run down the top 10 things that would actually be kind of cool about such an awkward situation unfolding in San Francisco.

It looks like Ray Fosse is going to get a 20-game break from TV broadcasts that he didn't ask for.

Guess what Kruk and Kuip? You’re in Fosse’s house now.

1. Ray Fosse leaving his mustache trimmings, melted Dibs, tobacco juice stains and spilled beer all over the broadcast booth the night before Krukow and Kuip come in to call a Giants game.  Take that, Meat!

2. Having a better home record at AT&T Park than the Giants with a payroll that barely exceeds Hunter Pence’s bloated contract.

3. Tarping that stupid Coke bottle and gigantic glove behind the outfield seats.

4. Celebrating an AL West division title, AL playoff victories and a World Series championship in the Giants’ home park while the boys in orange and black spend another season toward the bottom of the NL West standings.

5. Crazed A’s fans filling AT&T Park with louder, wilder cheering than the place has ever experienced.

6. Brandon Moss hitting more home runs into McCovey Cove than the entire Giants roster.

7. Ken Korach naming the seats in right field Moss Landing as Mossie hits bomb after bomb into the stands.  Korach’s calls of “And he will watch it fly!” will easily outnumber Kuip’s annoying calls of “He hits it high, deep, outta here!”

Hey Giants, those two world titles of yours are really cute, but the best franchise in the Bay Area has four of those babies.

Hey Giants, those two world titles of yours are really cute, but the best baseball franchise in the Bay Area has four of those babies including 3 in a row and one against you in 1989.

8. Seeing the A’s make a grand spectacle out of raising their 4 World Series championship flags over the Giants’ measly little 2 before every single home game at AT&T Park.

9. Mischievous A’s players (and maybe even Lew Wolff on occasion) backing up all the toilets in the home dugout and clubhouse right before heading out on a road trip and handing AT&T Park back to the Giants for a homestand.  Consider it a little payback for the whole territorial rights argument that’s been holding the A’s up.

10. Constantly leaving donuts, Twinkies and pork rinds in Pablo Sandoval‘s locker and watching the Panda bloat up to 350 pounds by the All-Star break.

Smart money says Selig and his squad of goons won’t take their obnoxious game of hardball with Coliseum officials this far and dump the A’s into San Francisco, but if the unthinkable happens there’s definitely an opportunity for the guys in green and gold do what they do so well: Make the best of a bad ballpark situation.

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