Don’t ask me why I ended up on eBay looking for A’s manager Bob Geren because I can’t really explain it myself. Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment with an odd appreciation for the absurd.
For a little more than $100 these one-of-a-kind items can be all mine. That’ll also buy me a lifetime pass to sleep on the couch if my wife finds out I squandered that much money on Geren trinkets.
It’d be nice to have the bobblehead because it would give me something to yell at and shake the next time Geren makes a move that leaves me scratching my head as my blood pressure soars through the roof. I wish I had the Geren bobblehead last week when he let sick-as-a-dog Daric Barton bat late in a game in Seattle with men on base instead of bringing in Hideki Matsui with the A’s trailing.
It also would have been nice to scream at the bobblehead when he used relievers Grant Balfour and Craig Breslow on back-to-back nights in that series even though the A’s were winning by a wide margin and he could have saved the bullpen by going to Bobby Cramer.
I can’t shake the feeling that Geren manages a lot of games like he’s still in the minor leagues or spring training because he often seems more focused on finding ways to get some guys a little work and other guys a little rest here and there rather than going for the kill and snapping up as many wins as possible.
And the bat? How can I pass on that bat? I’m sure it’s in near-perfect condition considering the fact that Geren only hit .233 in the big leagues. I bet there’s barely a dent in that thing. What better way to take out my frustrations with Geren’s moves than taking a frustrated swing at his bobblehead with his own bat?
But there’s another reason to entertain the idea of buying this junk. I hate to say this but I often get the feeling that Geren will manage the A’s longer than Connie Mack so I might as well get comfortable with the guy because he isn’t going anywhere as long as Billy Beane is running the A’s. Why not own a bobblehead and a bat used by the man likely to become the longest tenured manager in A’s history? That stuff will be worth a lot of money if Geren ever leads the A’s to a winning record.
Of course, if the A’s have a great season that ends with some champagne being sprayed around the clubhouse all will be forgiven and I’ll humbly embrace Bob Geren as a genius. Until that glorious day arrives I’ll continue to view him as a painfully dull manager playing Parcheesi while the skipper in the other dugout is playing chess.