Welcome to The Junkball 10, a new occasional feature running down a random list of some of my favorite ... or not so favorite … things.
If the Texas Rangers had a little more fight in them Game 6 of the World Series would be played today in San Francisco against the Giants. But the season is over and it’s time for a Giants victory parade instead.
This is normally a time of year where I’m bummed out that there won’t be any baseball games until the spring but I’m trying to see the bright side of things.
Here are the 10 reasons I’m glad the playoffs and World Series are over and done with …
1. I don’t have to look at Giants closer Brian Wilson’s beard anymore. I thought Wilson looked ridiculous before he started rocking the Just For Men beard, adding the facial hair just took his craziness to a new level. If I was a Giants fan I would adore the man but I’m not and I’ve had enough of him for now.
2. I won’t have to listen to annoying TV broadcasters Joe Buck and Tim McCarver butcher every game on Fox. They’re smug little bastards but their attitude is built on a foundation of totally clueless hot air. If you haven’t checked out some of McCarver’s nitwiticisms do it now and enjoy a good laugh.
3. I won’t have to listen to Joe Morgan call games on ESPN radio. Yeah, I’m one of those guys who can’t stand Joe Morgan.
4. I can finally watch TV without seeing people wearing panda hats and fake beards. Sayonara bandwagon fans, I’m sure I’ll see you again if the A’s go on an entertaining playoff run in the near future. Actually, considering how the A’s have played the past several years maybe I won’t see you again. I hope I’m wrong about that and we run into each other next October. You’ll be just as annoying then as you are now but at least we’ll be together because the A’s are winning.
5. No more shots of George W. Bush at the ballpark. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a big-time hater but I think I need 1 or 2 decades of separation from that little monkey before I can have him worked into a baseball broadcast without my blood pressure going up. One of the odd and entertaining things about the World Series was the night and day differences between Texas and San Francisco socially and politically.
6. The hype from Giants fans and the media may finally start to die down. From an A’s fan’s point of view it’s getting to the ridiculous point in the Bay Area where you’d think baseball was invented in San Francisco, Tim Lincecum cured cancer, Brian Sabean pulled America out of the recession, Cody Ross cured AIDS and Bruce Bochy negotiated world peace.
7. No more Taco Bell XXL Chalupa commercials with Yankees manager Joe Girardi and closer Mariano Rivera. That’s an incredibly stupid commercial for an incredibly disgusting looking menu item. If Mo Rivera is really going around America finishing off Chalupas for people he’s going to look like Pablo Sandoval by the time he reports to spring training.
8. The hot stove league is about to be fired up which means media coverage of the A’s might return. They’ve understandably become a bigger afterthought than usual during Giants Mania the past month but they still exist and they’re in position to be a very dangerous team in 2011 if they play their cards right.
9. No more Justin Bieber videos during World Series pre-game shows. Since I don’t happen to be a 12-year-old girl or a crazy shut-in housewife a Bieber song before one of the biggest baseball games of the year does absolutely nothing for me.
10. The end of the season is a welcome break from incessant talk about how Giants baseball is “torture.” Could Giants fans and the media be a little more dramatic? Baseball is torture for every die-hard fan. Try rooting for the Royals or Pirates. That’s torture.