Death to Abby and other thoughts on Sesame Street

I watch a lot of Sesame Street because my son is addicted to it in the same way some people in the ghetto are addicted to crack and some people in the suburbs are addicted to “American Idol” or “Dancing With The Stars.”

After that infuriating Katy Perry cleavage fiasco I tried to break my son’s addiction to Sesame Street with a healthy dose of Backyardigans, WordWorld and Sid the Science Kid.

It was worth a try but it didn’t work and I’m right back where I started which is in front of the TV on a daily basis with my son watching Sesame Street.

When you fire up the DVR all the time and watch the same episodes over and over and over and over and … well, you get the idea … you start to notice some things (in no particular order):

*  The local veterinarian is kinda hot.  Dr. Gina looks a little better every time I watch the tribute to the letter Y episode (http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20060911050908/muppet/images/a/a1/Alisonbartlett.jpg).

*  Abby is hands-down the most annoying character on Sesame Street.  I can handle Elmo because that cheerful pile of red shag carpet has actually managed to grow on me, but Abby is a total nightmare.

She’s too innocent, too cheerful, too dumb and too pink and glittery.

It feels like the producers are shoving that dimwitted little fairy down my throat because she seems to have a prominent role in more than half the episodes we have on the DVR.

She’s a pint-sized cloying ditz and she’s dragging the whole show down.

Sesame Street may have jumped the shark when they added Abby to the cast. 

* “Grouch Messing Machine” (https://junkball.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/41962.jpg) is the greatest Sesame Street episode I have seen since my son became addicted to the show.

What makes this such an amazing hour of television?

Leela.  Sweet, sweet Leela.

I’ve already spilled the beans on my lust for Sesame Street’s lovely laundry lady (http://images.whereilive.com.au/images/uploads/2009/08/10/8ca1a3f12c8b5eb9dfe52a4350f43319_resized.jpg) and she makes “Grouch Messing Machine” stand out.

The long opening skit in this episode with Leela makes my day every time.

The next great thing about this episode is that it has a bare minimum of screen time for that magical pest Abby.  She’s contained to the “Abby’s Flying Fairy School” skit where she belongs.

*  A close second on my list of best Sesame Street shows is the Jack and the beanstalk episode.

Once again we have a program that’s heavy on Leela and light on Abby.

That’s always a formula for success.

*  Oscar the Grouch and Cookie Monster are still my favorite characters.

Oscar is one of the few people on that street who isn’t hysterically high on life.  Someone needs to bring a dose of cranky reality to the show and Oscar is the man for the job.

Cookie Monster is a machine, singular in his focus for cookies.
He’s like a damn shark, always on the move and always on the hunt.  You get the feeling that if he stopped constantly wandering all over Sesame Street looking for cookies he’d die on the spot.

There’s no B.S. cheer with either one of them and you need some of that when everyone else in the cast is overdosing on cheerful pills.

*  As long as I’m taking some time to give a little love to Dr. Gina and Leela I should take a moment to give some props to Maria (http://www.cencom.org/uploadedImages/Cencom_Home/People/Bios/Sonia-Manzano.jpg).

She’s an oldie but a goodie.

Just watch her shake her moneymaker in the tribute to the number 7 episode.  Ol’ Maria reallys heats up the Siete Rhumba.  

Luis is one lucky man.

*  When are Burt and Ernie going to come out of the closet and just get it over with?

How can you listen to the lyrics to the “Bert and Ernie’s Great Adventures” skit and not snicker?

“Every time the bed starts tappin’/Something magic’s going to happen … “

I think the producers should just make it official and let’em be together in the open.

It would add to the diversity of Sesame Street and there’s nothing wrong with that, it’s the strength of the show.
I support you Bert and Ernie!

*  I can’t put my finger on it but for some strange reason Big Bird annoys the hell out of me these days.

I liked him when I was a kid but now he drives me up the wall.

Maybe it’s because he seems like such a total wimp.

Have you seen the episode where he considers moving to a new habitat?

That overgrown chicken lets a real estate agent push him around before caving in and agreeing to move to a rain forest.  But after all that he changes his mind.

Get tough and make a call Big Bird!

*  Chris, the kid who runs Hooper’s store,  is a saint and he’s the coolest human on Sesame Street.

You have to be a saint to go camping with Elmo and then make dinner for every animal in the freakin’ forest just because that red-haired freak wants you to.

And only a cool dude would roll with the punches when Abby keeps changing the seasons on him while he’s trying to take care of a fussy customer.

If any of that stuff happened to me I’d grab a shovel and a bag of lime and those puppets would never be seen again.
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2 thoughts on “Death to Abby and other thoughts on Sesame Street

  1. Your son is not alone, because I was also addicted to Sesame Street the same way a teenager would get addicted to cocaine. And I was addicted to it during the 1980s – an era that the show featured content that were okay back then, but very controversial now. My mother banned the show in October 1984 because she was so very annoyed by my repetitive giggling over such controversial segments (the main issue at hand were Bert and Ernie segments where many of them featured the duo fighting and disagreeing with each other), not to mention she wanted me to develop more new interests. That was a very tough task due to my autism, and because of this I cannot develop new interests, it has to be caught like a virus. Not to mention I was close to becoming a teenager at that time. Plus, my mother was probably one of the early “pioneers” to notice such controversial content – and this was during a time that there was no such thing as the Internet. Now that we have the Internet, parents are reading these blogs, and seeing the light. Parents are probably thinking twice before they expose their kids to a show that is nothing but a nationwide addiction. I bet a lot of those parents are looking forward to the show going off the air, because the show has been on the air for a shocking 42 years now. Very few shows stay on that air for that long (except for current events programs, The Price is Right, and some soaps – many of which are on the way out). If I remember correctly, the show’s ratings are a lot lower nowadays as opposed to back in the politically incorrect era, and I have a feeling that the show will retain staying power for 5 years max, then we can kiss Big Bird, Bert, Ernie, Cookie Monster and the gang goodbye as the gang goes the way of the Magic School Bus on the highway to TV heaven. I bet mothers whose kids are addicted to Sesame Street are probably saying to themselves “Where is Mr. Dressup when you need him?” But in either case the show is not the same anymore without the classic segments. If not for the ban, I would have stopped watching the show by 2005, when it was safe to declare that virtually all the classic segments were gone.

  2. Um. Chris is the most annoying character on Sesame Street hands down, man. I grew up with this shit. There’s a genuinity about the other characters dispositions, with Chris it’s straight-up fake. He doesn’t know how to act and it’s painfully apparent in his skits.

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