Worst. Day. Off. Ever.

I finally did it.

I played hookie from work for the first time in my life.

And you know what? It kinda sucked.

My wife insists that I’ve ditched work before but I don’t count the time I called in sick a couple of years ago when we discovered major water and mold damage at our house because I spent that day moving furniture out of the home office and into the garage.

Let’s face it, I’m the guy who refused to call in sick from a job I didn’t like several years ago so I could go in for a job interview with a great company.  

How do I know I missed out on working for a great company?  My wife got the job, that’s how I know.

With a boneheaded work ethic like that I’m positive that she’s wrong about me playing hookie before.

No, until this week I’d never taken a “mental health day” from school or work … which probably explains a lot.

So what did I do with my big day?

I got up around 6:30 in the morning, same as usual, so I could get my son to child care.  

Bad call.

Who starts off a fun day by getting up that early when they really don’t have to?  

After that I went to the doctor to get my flu shot and whooping cough vaccination.  

Another bad call.  

What a boring way to start a day off.  

To bastardize a line from “Better Off Dead,” going to a doctor when you’re not really sick is really sick.

I spent the rest of the day shopping, working in the yard, organizing the garage, doing laundry, cleaning the house and scooping our cat’s litter box.

Do I know how to party or what?

The historic day ended with an annoying late-evening trip to the hardware store to find screws for the dresser in the nursery.  

When your pregnant wife has red-hot nesting fever you do what you have to do.

As luck would have it, the screws I bought didn’t even fit.

A perfectly unsatisfying ending to a perfectly unsatisfying day.

Not exactly a re-enactement of “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” is it?

Maybe if they made a sequel this is what Ferris’ day off would look like if he matured into a boring middle-aged family man.

Now that I’m several days removed from my not-so-magical day off my back is killing me from all the work I did and my arm is aching like mad from the whooping cough vaccine.

Weeks before I took the day off I had grand visions for what a spur-of-the-moment day off from work would be like.

There would be lots a baseball, beer, junk food, cigars and movies.  And none of the action would start until I slept in a couple of hours.

But instead of living the dream I busted my butt all day.  

I would have had it easier if I had just gone to work.

Mental health days are overrated.  See you at the office.

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