Tom Petty was right, the weighing is the hardest part

 Aug. 6 is here which means I am officially one month removed from publicly taking the fight to my expanding waist band.

I hopped on the bathroom scale and the results are in.


Drum roll please: I have lost a whopping .2 pounds!

That’s impressive. 

Impressively pathetic.

Oh, did I mention that I’m posting this while eating a slice of leftover pizza for breakfast?

At this point I’ve kind of become a rudderless ship drifting aimlessly through a sea of fat. 

As I mentioned earlier I failed to weigh myself in July so I’m using a weight I noted in June as my baseline.  

On one hand, if I gained weight from June to July then my weight loss could be a lot more than .2 pounds. That would be awesome.

On the other hand, if I lost weight between June and July then I actually gained weight during the one month I was trying to lose weight.  That’s a scary thought.

So, what went wrong? Let’s take a look at the admittedly weak game plan I laid out in July:

Portion control — This was a major component of the plan because it looked incredibly easy to accomplish. Push the plate away, how hard could that be? 

Well, after a couple of weeks of being good I fell back into the same old habits of coming home from work starving and then shoving everything on my dinner plate into my face.

Make healthier choices when I eat out — That one lasted for a couple of weeks too.  A man can only eat so many chicken sandwiches with side salads before he says, “The hell with it, get me a cheeseburger with fries damnit!”  

It also doesn’t help that I’m one of those stubborn, idiotic guys who just can’t bring himself to order a salad for lunch or dinner.

Exercise at least a little bit — I won’t even pretend this lasted for a couple of weeks because the truth is that it never happened at all. 
Not much of a surprise since this is the one thing that was part of my plan that really takes a commitment of time and effort.

The layer of dust on my elliptical trainer is a little thicker now than it was a month ago … just like my waist.

Clearly, apathy and procrastination are a dangerous combination in the diet game.  

Time to waddle back to the drawing board.
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