Hairy situation

Some of my co-workers are all abuzz about fuzz — the little patch of wimpy whiskers aspiring to become a goatee on my face, to be exact.

Presidents' Day weekend offered me the opportunity to be lazy so I decided to give my razor a break and my goatee a chance to flourish — if that's possible for a guy cursed with feeble Asian facial hair.

If I'm lucky I might be able to get a Pat Morita-circa "Karate Kid"-look goat with a few years of steady growth aided by regular applications of Rogaine.

There's no doubt in my mind that it'd be far easier and drama free to show up to work with a new haircut rather than the faint outline of a goatee in its infancy.

At least a new haircut it obvious, it has a finished look.  People know what you're trying to do.

If I shaved my head over the weekend I'm sure I wouldn't even get a second glance from anyone at the office.

But a few days of stubble around your mouth?  It draws some strange looks from co-workers, a lot of double takes and sideways glances.

Some co-workers get right to the point and ask me what I'm up to.

I like to pretend for a few seconds that I have no idea what they're talking about and then act terrified when I realize something ugly is growing on my face.

Others joke and ask me what kind of glue I'm using to keep the small handful of hair attached to my face.  I like to say its Gorilla Glue (http://www.gorillaglue.com/) because it's good stuff but Mighty Putty (https://www.mightyputty.com/flare/next) would be a decent alternative.

I would have gone for the gusto and tried to grow a beard but Joaquin Phoenix kind of killed that look after his incoherent appearance on "The Late Show with David Letterman" last week (http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/entertainment/zontv/2009/02/joaquin_phoenix_letterman_ston.html and http://blogs.thetimes.co.za/minor/2009/02/16/rolling-stone-on-joaquin-phoenixs-letterman-appearance/).

There are still some co-workers who catch a glance of my face fuzz and look like they're witnessing a train wreck.

And maybe they are, but only time will tell.

All I can do is preach patience because facial hair takes time in the same way the Hoover Dam, Empire State Building, Eiffel Tower, and Great Wall of China weren't completed overnight.

As the old saying goes, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Even the Earth took a little time to develop.

Heck, the original Holy Hombre himself, God, allegedly took six whole days to put the planet together if you're inclined to believe that sort of thing.

I think my goatee is entitled to at least six days of growth before I sentence it to death by lethal shaving.

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