Mental leftovers

A Sunday swing through all the odds and ends that didn’t quite fit into any other blog post during the week …

* The tale of octuplet mom Nadya Suleman, the queen of the shallow end of the gene pool, just keeps getting better all the time.

Not only is she soaking taxpayers to take care of her and her kids (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/02/10/octuplet-mom-nadya-sulema_n_165508.html), she even has the audacity to fire up a Web site to solicit donations for her latest litter (http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com/).

If my tax dollars are going to be thrown at this reproductive abomination, forget about handing her disability or welfare checks. For my money — and in this case it actually is my money — the state needs lock Suleman in a padded cell, snatch up all her kids and adopt them out to sane families that can actually afford to provide them with sane, stable lives.

* While we’re at it, save some room in that padded cell for Dr. Michael Kamrava (http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/lanow/2009/02/the-beverly-hil.html) the psycho quack who provided Suleman with fertility treatment.

* Don’t miss “Man vs. Wild” on Discovery channel on Monday night at 10 p.m.

Bear Grylls, everyone’s favorite celebrity survivalist, heads into the woods in his newest episode and sifts through bear feces for food.
As this weekend’s hilarious commercial shows us, Grylls finds something yummy to eat in a warm pile of dung.
I know Grylls stages some of the stuff on the show but I still love the guy. Anyone who eats rotting animals (http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/man-vs-wild-adventurous-palate.html) and drinks water out of elephant dung (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7lFg_Jy0c_g&feature=related) deserves a little slack.

* On to more cheerful news: Baseball is back!

Teams started reporting to spring training this weekend and Yahoo opened up it’s fantasy baseball leagues which means it’s time for my annual descent into fantasy baseball draft preparation.

At the peek of my geekdom I managed as many as six baseball teams, two to three football teams and one basketball team in any given year. I’m finally down to just two baseball teams and one football team a year.

Strangely enough, my declining participation in fantasy sports started right around the time I met my wife. I’m certain I had a higher fantasy sports winning percentage when I didn’t have a life but I’m not complaining.

* According to this MLB.com story (http://oakland.athletics.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20090210&content_id=3815148&vkey=news_oak&fext=.jsp&c_id=oak
), Oakland A’s General Manager Billy Beane declined to comment on free agent shortstop Orlando Cabrera via text from New Zealand, where he’s been for a speaking engagement.

What’s Beane doing down in New Zealand?

Do Hobbits have a buring passion for statistical analysis?

I wonder if there’s any chance of Beane signing one of those hairy-footed freaks to a contract?

It wouldn’t be any crazier than Eddie Gaedel (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Gaedel) getting an at bat in the big leagues.

If Beane can cobble together a competitive baseball team full of fuzzy-footed, good-natured, diminutive Kiwis I’ll be the first person in line to by a copy of “Hobbitball” at my local bookstore.

If that isn’t blind devotion I don’t know what is.

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One thought on “Mental leftovers

  1. Why so hard on the Suleman woman?She’s an inspiration.I’ll be bringing a lot of lives into this world too and when I do, it’s good to know you’ll be there to pay for them.Learn to enjoy paying my bills.

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