If that appeals to you for some absurd reason, feel free to thank whoever got paid to come up with this: The Knight Rider GPS by Mio.
The fact that someone is making a living by dreaming up such ridiculous products proves beyond a doubt that I was way off the mark in my career choice. Who knows how much money I could have made off of all the profoundly stupid ideas I've had over the years?
As Mio proudly announces (http://www.mio.com/us/mio-technology-press-releases-17833.htm): "Are you a lone crusader in the shadowy world of navigation? Mio Technology, a leading worldwide maker of portable GPS navigation devices, introduces the world's first NAVI-tainment portable navigation device with the launch of the Knight Rider GPS. With a design inspired by the original Knight Industries Two Thousand, or K.I.T.T., the Knight Rider GPS by Mio brings the magic of the original television series to your daily commute with a Knight Industries-approved LED display and custom voice files. All that's missing is Michael Knight and his patent leather jacket."
Personally, I think a big bumper sticker that says "LOSER" is also missing from Mio's Knight Rider GPS.
According to Jeremy Laws, senior vice president of mobile & broadband, Universal Pictures Digital Platforms Group says in the Mio press release, "Who are you going to trust more than Mio GPS and K.I.T.T. to get you out of trouble when you're lost in L.A. traffic?"
It's hard to argue with that one because the logic behind it makes my brain feel like it's going to explode, but for a mere $200 to $270 (http://mio.links.channelintelligence.com/pages/prices.asp?sSKU=KITT%20300&nRGID=1840) you can make that pathetic dream a reality.
Mio even quotes the owner of fan enthusiast Web site, Knight Rider Online (http://knightrideronline.com/), and suspected virgin for life, Neil Epstein: "I've been a fan of the Knight Rider TV show since it first aired on Sept. 26, 1982 and the fan base is still going strong today. Twenty years ago fans became infatuated with the idea of riding with KITT, and having him guide us to our destination. Now with the Mio Knight Rider GPS, we can have exactly that."
Yes, for pale, sickly, middle-aged geeks living in basements across America a lifelong fantasy has finally come true.
Now all the legions of wannabe Hasselhoffs have to do is buy a Knight Rider GPS and then beg their mothers to let them borrow the family station wagon so they can cruise the mean streets of suburbia talking to their Knight Rider GPS by Mio.
Somewhere out there on the roads of America a dork is yelling "Turbo boost KITT!" at their GPS unit while trying to make it through a yellow light.