Brace yourselves for Obama TV

H. Ross Perot and Monty Brewster, meet Barack Obama.

The Democratic presidential nominee has just doled out millions of dollars to snag a half hour on CBS and NBC during prime time to … well, I don’t know exactly what.

It can’t be to secure a win in the presidential election because he has that locked up and always has anytime I’ve checked since the party conventions.

He doesn’t need prime-time exposure on two TV networks so it must simply be a matter of him wanting to bask in the prime-time spotlight.

I guess Big O is just going to share the greatness of Obama with all of us for a half hour. If he actually sticks to his brand of politics it’ll just be more of the “I’m going to give 95 percent of Americans a tax cut” and endless, tiresome references to George Bush’s failed administration.

I guess it beats the Republican ticket of John McCain and Sarah Palin pushing “The Old Adventures of New Christine” out of the way for one week just to say “my friend” and “maverick” every couple of minutes and drop the “g” off the ends of words as often as possible.

Then again, Palin would be a lot easier on the eyes than McCain or Obama.

We haven’t seen someone running for office pull a comical stunt like this since Richard Pryor in “Brewster’s Millions” in 1985 and Perot during his 1992 run for president.

Maybe Obama is trying to take a page out of Brewster’s book? There’s an outside chance his well-heeled campaign donors have told him he has to use up all his campaign funds by election day or he won’t get more money for a second term.

A word of advice to Obama if time starts running out and you still have money to burn: Mailing stuff with priceless collectible stamps worked great for Pryor in “Brewster’s Millions.”

Personally, I’m hoping for an Obama and Friends variety show with members of the Democratic Party doing some song-and-dance routines and comedy sketches.

I can already see Bill Clinton making a guest appearance and doing his best Benny Hill impression while chasing scantily-clad young girls around during a cheesy musical routine.

Maybe they could even throw in a little telethon action where Americans can show their “patriotism” by handing their money over to Obama and Joe Biden.

It’d kind of be like “Hee Haw” for people on the left end of the political spectrum.

A painfully horrible show like “Hee Haw” is pure Middle America which may as well be Middle Earth for all Obama and Co. know or care.

Fortunately, in 1992 when Perot shelled out millions to get on TV we knew it was just a nut using his own fortune to get himself broadcast in prime time. The guy was crazy and he wasn’t going to win the presidency so why not let him entertain us on TV for a little while?

In Obama’s case, it’s a little hard to fully embrace a guy who wants the miserable job of president so bad that he needs to force himself right alongside mediocre sitcoms, reality shows and dramas on prime-time network TV despite being poised for a landslide electoral college victory.

He already showed off his inflated ego when he talked about what he would do in his “first term” during this week’s debate and I guess now he’s going one step further in playing president before he’s actually in office by snagging the same kind of network airtime a president would get during a national address.

Obama and his deep-pocketed supporters want the top office way too much to really be trusted as sincere champions of the middle class or honest leaders of bipartisan cooperation and reform.

At least “Brewster’s Millions” and H. Ross Perot were good for a few laughs. This election continues to leave me shaking my head and seriously considering following Monty Brewster’s lead and voting for “None of the Above” when November rolls around.


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