It’s not safe to go in the water

It all started with my wife’s catfish sandwich.

All I wanted to do was e-mail her this afternoon to see how she was doing. She e-mailed me back that she was A-OK and she had a catfish sandwich for lunch.

That’s when the trouble started. That’s when a little ad for CatfishStunner.com popped up on the side of my Gmail account thanks to the magic of Google’s AdWords.

Once click later I found the fascinating and frightening looking Catfish Stunner. A lot of frayed duct tape and a few paper clips would complete the Catfish Stunner’s made-by-a-mad-scientist-in-his-cellar look.

According to the Web site this odd looking device is far more than a Radio Shack geek’s pet project, it’s actually an “electrical pulse generator that makes catfish swim to the surface so you can catch them … The catfish become confused so they just swim to the surface and wait for you to pick them up … Just hook it up to the battery in your boat and get ready for the action and amazement.”

Hopefully there won’t be any swimmers near the boat or a mass electrocution and a life sentence in jail will be a part of the “action and amazement.”

I guess this isn’t too far removed from the way the park service shocks everything in a lake to count fish or the way Roy Scheider got the best of that bastard shark at the end of “Jaws 2.”

Just send $55 to the father of the Catfish Stunner, registered nurse Donald Kendrick Jr., and let the fun begin! I bet this thing is a real hoot at pool parties.

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