They need to mate

I know it’s never going to happen, but I want to see Cesar “Dog Whisperer” Milan hook up with “It’s Me or the Dog” star Victoria Stillwell.

The two world-class celebrity dog trainers are meant to be together. Just for the sake of curiosity I’d love to see them get married and have kids.

Their golden child would probably be able to cure misbehaving dogs just by the laying on of hands.

And if Cesar and Victoria had a kid, how would they raise it? I’d like to think they’d go with a crate rather than a crib.

A lot of today has been spent vegging out watching a “Burn Notice” marathon on USA and a “Man vs. Wild” marathon on the Discovery Channel.

And following with that theme, a lot of my week has been spent working my way through the backlog on our DVR.

The second episode of “The Shield” was as satisfying as ever. It’s nice to know that the show is going to wrap up this season. It just adds to all the tension building from week to week. Hopefully they won’t just fade to black in the final episode like “The Sopranos.” Hopefully Michael Chiklis won’t wake up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette like in “Newhart.”

It’s hard to imagine lead character Vic Mackey won’t end up in a prison cell or body bag by the time the smoke has cleared on the final season of “The Shield.”

Fox’s debut of “Fringe” ( also proved to be entertaining in it’s own odd way.

I still have to get around to watching the second episode of “Sons of Anarchy” but if I had to make a call right now I’d say that “Fringe” has a better shot of holding my attention for a few more weeks than “Anarchy.”

“Fringe” lead actress Anna Torv ( as Olivia Dunham looks like a poor man’s Poppy Montgomery from CBS’ “Without a Trace” (

Fox’s new show obviously wants to be “The X-Files” most of the time. At other times it wants to be “Altered States,” which is a hard connection to miss with Blair Brown getting screen time. And when the car chases and footraces kick into high gear the show feels a little like the “Bourne” films.

But “Fringe” also has flashes humor. Supporting cast member John Noble is absurdly hilarious as the insane Dr. Walter Bishop, especially when he excitedly exclaims, “Let’s make some LSD!” while making like a mad scientist in a basement at Harvard.

Did I mention that a cow is also a part of the cast in the debut episode? Like I said, the show flashes an odd sense of humor.

* IS ANYONE REALLY EATING THESE THINGS?: I had a disturbing visit to 7-Eleven the other day.

While minding my own business standing in line to buy a drink and a candy bar, I made the mistake of absent-mindedly looking to my left.

What I saw slowly turning over and over on the grill will haunt my soul forever: The Cheeseburger Bite.

I’d like to think that this is a family-oriented blog, so I don’t want to say that the Cheeseburger Bite looked like a grilled piece of dog crap … but who’s kidding who? The damn thing looked like a freakin’ grilled piece of dog crap.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ve eaten deep-friend Twinkies and Oreos. I’ve eaten a gummi worm dipped in ranch dressing. I’ve even eaten a month-old Christmas tree made out of frosting for $5. So I’m open to eating odd stuff.

But there’s no way in hell, even for $5, that I’m going to chomp down on a 7-Eleven Cheeseburger Bite.

If you’ve had one or you’re brave enough to go try one after reading this, please post a comment and let us know how those horrid-looking things taste.

I seriously doubt if you’ll be saying “Thank heaven for 7-Eleven” after dining on a Cheeseburger Bite.


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