He wants your sex … and apparently that’s a bad thing

On the silver screen "The X-Files" star David Duchovny wants to believe (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0443701/).  But offscreen the man just wants to get laid … a lot.

In fact, he likes it so much that it's become a big problem.

According to the Associated Press, Duchovny has checked into rehab to break himself of an addiction to sex.

As a longtime fan of "The X-Files" I always thought that Duchovny's biggest problem was an obsessive interest in little green men.  Looks like I was way off on that one.

It must be really rough being a superstar millionaire who really, really likes sex and gets a lot of action with hot women.  Yeah, that must be a living hell.  Poor guy.

Duchovny is in some good company according to this dated Web site: http://www.thisislondon.co.uk/film/article-892956-details/Other+famous+sex+addicts/article.do.

Don't worry Mulder, Catherine the Great went through the same thing.  Everything will be OK pal. 

Try this the next time you get a little too excited when you see a hottie walking down the street Mr. Duchovny: Just try and picture her as "Golden Girls" star Bea Arthur.

That should keep you out of trouble more often than not.

And if it doesn't … if you find that you still want to get it on even with the image of Bea Arthur burned into your mind … then you really do need some help.

Good luck David Duchovny, our prayers are with you.

She ain’t toast

I take it all back. 

Those low-seeds at major tennis tournaments I was talking about?  They're not toast like the guys in red uniforms in Star Trek who always seem to die.

In Julie Coin's case, the low seed is actually the toast of the town.

Coin, the 188th ranked player in the world, upset top-ranked Ana Ivanovic today at the U.S. Open.

According to the Associated Press, the 25-year-old was considering retiring from tennis earlier this year after struggling to make any progress toward playing her way into the top 100 in the rankings.

"I guess maybe now I'm going to think about, like, keep playing," Coin said.

Yeah, that'd probably a decent idea Julie.

Coin will face Amelie Mauresmo in the next round of the U.S. Open.

The big balls are back

It was almost 90 degrees in the house last night at about 11 p.m. so I’m sitting around the house right now watching the U.S. Open while the air conditioner is repaired for the third time this summer.

The return of the U.S. Open also ushers in the return of those really odd, really big tennis balls fans try to get autographed by star players after every match. If you want one to call your own, just head over to http://www.tennis-warehouse.com/descpageACWILSON-WBIGBALL.html and shell out $25.

That’ll get you an inflatable 7 to 9 pound tennis ball the size of a soccer ball to look really silly with.

Venus Williams just got done slapping around some early-round nobody. Being a low seed at a major tennis tournament is kind of like being the guy in the red shirt tagging along with Captain Kirk and the rest of the landing party on Star Trek — you know you’re toast.

Animal cruelty

Surfing Ebay while killing some time watching the A's and Angels drag their way through seven innings tonight. I'm happy to say that Huston Street has looked surprisingly sharp for a closer who has fallen so far on the depth chart that he came in to pitch in the sixth inning.

But back to Ebay.  It may still be August, but that's no reason we can't start thinking about Halloween.  The candy is already on the shelves at Longs Drugs so why not see what costumes are floating around on the Net?

The main costume that caught my eye on was the Joker Pet Costume (http://cgi.ebay.com/Batman-Dark-Knight-JOKER-Pet-Dog-Cat-COSTUME-Large-NEW_W0QQitemZ300252307700QQihZ020QQcategoryZ82162QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem). 

Somehow this gawdawful pet costume is sandwiched between a seemingly endless line of sexy, naughty costumes:
http://cgi.ebay.com/Sexy-Adult-WONDER-WOMAN-SUPERHERO-Costume-Heroine-New_W0QQitemZ290254160048QQihZ019QQcategoryZ53369QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
http://cgi.ebay.com/Sexy-Bikini-Bunny-Girl-Costume-with-G-string-L-12-14_W0QQitemZ270268368970QQihZ017QQcategoryZ19255QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem
http://cgi.ebay.com/Sexy-Lingerie-Nurse-Costume-3-pcs-set-Size-6-8_W0QQitemZ130249722647QQihZ003QQcategoryZ19255QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

With the Joker Pet Costume you can mix a great character from a cool movie with your lovable family pet to create something totally absurd for just $19.99 .

When the pets of the world finally unite, spurn domestication and attack humanity, outfits like this will be a big reason why our fuzzy friends choose bloodshed over belly rubs.

Too strange, even for me

Don’t get me wrong, I love to buy really odd stuff. I even love to buy really odd Elvis stuff, but the Wowwee Alive Elvis takes the cake.

It’s too odd and too Elvisy … even for me. I’m also too cheap to foot the $250 Wowwee charges for this product.

According to the manufacturer’s Web site (http://www.wowweealiveonline.com/elvis/index.html) the head can talk, sing and track your movements.

There’s even an odd little Wowwee Elvis subculture on this discussion board http://www.robocommunity.com/forum/thread/13928/Alive-Elvis-Appearance-Mods/ where people share ways to shave the sideburns and modify the sneer of Wowwee Alive Elvis.

Wowwee Alive Elvis has a knack for showing up on Woot.com during Woot Offs so if you’re interested in having a severed robotic head in your house just be patient because there’s always a Woot Off around the corner.